Spin
by tmntyyh
Summary: Reno and Cid fight, much to Vincent's amusement and Cloud's dismay. Warnings are inside. Short one-shot.


Title: Spin

Summary: Reno and Cid fight, much to Vincent's amusement and Cloud's dismay.

Warnings: Swearing, insults, stereotyping, lewdness, drinking, smoking, drug references, sexual references, yaoi, etc.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>Red eyes flicked over to the blonde who fumed, his work glove covered fingers tightening around his glass and causing the thick and fragile material to crack, "Fuckin' say that again, Fire Crotch!"<p>

Crimson eyes flicked across the table to look at the redhead who sneered at the stocky blonde that was sitting across the booth; the brunette gunner trapped in the middle with no way to get out unless he wanted to either jump over the table or crawl under it. Neither option appealed to him so Vincent just continued to look between the pilots. ""Fire Crotch?" Are ya fuckin' kiddin' me, yo? All right." A smirk spread across the redhead's face he as leaned back in his seat and wrapped his arms across the back of the booth. "Want me to say it really slow so your inbred, cotton-fluff filled mind can keep up, yo? No problem. I said: Ya. Can't. Fuckin'. Fly. To. Save. Your. Balls. Got it now?"

A loud snarl came from the gunner as he growled, "The fuck are ya talkin' 'bout, ya mako-huffin' junkie? I can fuckin' out fly ya any goddamn day of the week!"

"In your goddamn dreams! That ain't flyin', yo. That's AUTOPILOT!"

"Auto- Ya fuckin' accusin' me of fuckin' usin' such a cheap trick on my own goddamn planes, Turk?"

"If the corn-huskin', hillbilly shoe fits, yo!" Vincent was not sure if he had even seen Cid turn such a brilliant shade of red before, the blonde's ears matching the color of his face as he snapped.

"I ain't a goddamn hillbilly, ya slum rat!"

"Rat?" Reno snarled as he jerked forward in his seat, his accent thickening as he spoke, "Yer callin' me a rat, yo?"

"If the mako-filled needle fits!" the pilot snapped back as he sneered, "I've been flyin' since yer Ma spread her legs an' dropped ya from between 'em!" Vincent cringed once the comment left Cid's mouth; if there was one thing that exacerbated the usual fights from playful banter to an' all-out brawl, it was the mentioning of mothers.

"Oh, oh! We're talkin' 'bout my ma?" Reno hissed as he grabbed his EMR, a sign that things were going to get physical between the two pilots. Humming softly, the brunette leaned over and tapped his claws against the table, his red eyes staring into the aquamarine eyes of the Turk when he caught his attention. Letting out a mumble, the redhead set down his EMR before narrowing his eyes at the blonde pilot. "At least my ma had the good fuckin' graces ta give me a normal name, Cidney!"

Vincent winced slightly as he looked over the bar and managed to lock eyes with Cloud, the swordsman giving him a shrug as he sipped his drink and continued to watch the argument with the rest of Avalanche and the Turks. The ex-Turk could not blame him; he knew that if the leader of Avalanche was trapped in a booth between the two pilots, and there was no real threat, he would not lift a finger to help him. "'Ey! Cid's a perfectly normal name, ya soulless, ginger fuck!"

"Yeah, fer a GIRL, Sydney! An' I got a fuckin' soul, yo!"

"Ya fuckin' dropped the Sector Seven plate on the slums, didn't ya? Ain't soundin' like ya got a soul to me, ya snake!"

"If I'm a snake, yanno what that makes you, yo?" Reno asked as a devious smirk lit up his face, "a fuckin' fatass squirrel that's just sittin' around an' waiting to get eaten. After all, ain't that all ya did back in your little, podunk, hillbilly, whiskey-drinkin', cousin-fuckin' town?" When the Turk started to imitate Cid's accent, Vincent could barely hold back a snort of amusement while Yuffie cackled in the background with Elena and Tifa. "What the fuck am I gonna do today? Oh, I know. I'm 'a gonna drink my moonshine an' wait fer my failure of a rocket, which I built in the shape of a giant dick, ta fall down on my piddly-ass head an' kill me." It was interesting to listen to the Turk try to imitate the Southern twang that the blonde pilot of Avalanche spoke with when the redhead's own city, slang-filled accent had thickened in anger.

"There's so many fuckin' things wrong with that, ya vermin!"

"Say "darn-tootin'!" C'mon, yo," Reno teased, making the blonde grind his teeth together before snapping.

"Fuck off, ya scum on the planet!" Flipping up his middle finger, the blonde jumped to his feet before grabbing his spear and storming off, "Ya can fuckin' sit on it an' spin!"

"Hey!" the Turk called out as he jumped to his feet and ran after Cid, "I ain't the one that's going to be ridin' vampire dick all night long, yo!"

Vincent rolled his eyes as his former companions snickered as they looked over at him. Offering a shrug, the brunette rose to his feet before following in the direction that Reno and Cid went, more than prepared to pull the blonde off of the laughing and shrieking redhead, like he had to do every other week. Without looking back, the gunner knew that Cloud was following him closely. "I would recommend that you keep your Turk on a leash but I know firsthand how well he is with picking locks," the gunner told the blonde as he walked.

"Yeah...the only way he wouldn't take it off is if we were both naked," Cloud muttered as he shrugged. "Any chance we can bribe Cid with alcohol? When Reno gets a black eye it kills the mood later in the night."

"No. ...Perhaps I will try putting him on a leash." A devious smirk uncurled across the brunette's lips even though the shorter man could not see it. "Maybe it would put the Captain in a better mood..."

"Good luck," the blonde swordsman offered as they followed the sounds of grunting and Reno's shouts, "Damn...he's going to have another black eye..."

"...All this sexual tension between them is going to cause a real fight one of these days. I propose that we lock them in a room naked."

"...Sexual tension?"

"They obviously want to have sex with one another," Vincent joked dryly, smirking when Cloud began to cough uncomfortably. "Come, Cloud. We have pilots to pry off of one another if we plan on getting lucky tonight."

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><p>Review and let me know what you thought.<p> 


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